Episodes

Episode 0: Get to know your hosts!

Before we get into the real work of minutely dissecting episodes, meet the people wielding the scalpel. Your hosts (Corene, Ari and Kim) will talk about how they got into Star Trek, their favourite series, and answer crucial questions like: Riker – Beard or No Beard (Spoiler: There is only one correct answer)? We will […]

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Episode 1: TOS 1×00 – “The Cage”

In our first episode, we start from the beginning with the probably-should-have-remained unaired Original Series Pilot: The Cage, staring Jeffrey Hunter as Captain Christopher Pike. Note: this is probably the only time we will all agree on an episode.

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Episode 2: TOS 1×01 – “The Man Trap”

Officially the first-aired episode of TOS, though not the first in continuity (Apparently we’re going by air date. I was outvoted.), we join the Enterprise (no bloody A, B, C, OR D) on a routine mission to give a pair of Federation archaeologists on an isolated dig their mandated medical check-up. Dr. Suspicious Behaviour is […]

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Episode 3 – TOS 1×02: “Charlie X”

This week’s episode is Charlie X, in which we learn important lessons on culture shock, the importance of consent, and why being an aggressively entitled manbaby is that much worse when the entitled manbaby in question has, uh, you know, reality-warping evil superpowers. I don’t care what anybody says, the Jim Kirk Explains Consent scene […]

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Episode 4 – TOS 1×03: “Where No Man Has Gone Before”

In the episode originally written as the second series pilot, we join the U.S.S. (that’s United Space Ship) Enterprise as she attempts to cross the Galactic Barrier. Why? Who cares? SCIENCE. Except as it turns out, this miiiiiiiiight not be the best plan ever conceived. A flight recorder found near the barrier tells them that […]

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Episode 5 – TOS 1×04: “The Naked Time”

It’s hard to explain this episode, despite it having a surprisingly simple plot: our fair ship is in a perilous, risky situation where survival depends on quick reaction times and the crew keeping their heads… so, naturally, everybody gets space-drunk. *rattlesnake noise* But there’s so much more going on with this episode, to the point […]

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Episode 6: TOS 1×05 – “The Enemy Within”

Okay, pop quiz: your only method of transit between your giant starship and the surface of nearby Crappy Frozen Hell-Planet-of-the-Adorable-Unicorn-Dogs is an occasionally-dodgy matter-transport device which, if malfunctioning, stands a not-inconsiderable chance of scattering your component atoms across time and space. One day, the transporter starts acting weird. Do you: cease all transport operations until […]

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Episode 7: TOS 1×06 – “Mudd’s Women”

In this episode the crew of the Enterprise has their first encounter with Leo Walsh, aka: Harry Mudd, aka: Harcourt Fenton Mudd: space pirate, con artist, and… space pimp, apparently? We meet Harry Mudd at least twice more in later episodes, but in his introduction, he’s escorting a “cargo” of three lovely ladies destined to […]

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Episode 8 – TOS 1×07: “What Are Little Girls Made Of?”

This week’s episode asks the (largely-unrelated-to-the-plot-of-the-episode) question: what are little girls made of? Some of you may have you automatically answered “sugar and spice and everything etc.”, but you’re wrong. It’s robots. The answer is robots. Because spoiler: everyone in this episode is a robot. We could also call this the “Christine Chapel is pretty […]

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Episode 8a – Bonus Content: New Star Trek Series???!!!!!!

Early last week, CBS announced that a new Star Trek television series was in the works, and the Internet subsequently exploded. Suffice it to say we have mixed feelings. So mixed that the announcement caused no small amount of flailing at NSMTNZ HQ. Some hand-wringing. Some shouting. Some screaming. Possibly some confused weeping. Rumours abound as to the […]

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Episode 9 – TOS 1×08: “Miri”

In this episode, in yet another example of early Starfleet’s flagrant disregard for basic biohazard precautions, Kirk, Bones, Spock, Rand and two redshirts beam down to an uncannily Earth-like planet in response to an SOS. A planet where everyone appears to be dead, and has been dead for hundreds of years. And creepy childlike singing and ghostly footsteps […]

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Episode 10 – TOS 1×09: “Dagger of the Mind”

So, once again, we encounter a major problem with the operating procedures of the Enterprise NCC-1701, namely Basic Security Precautions. e.g. When you are beaming up cargo from a penal colony, you should probably scan said cargo for escaping prisoners. Of course, if the Enterprise crew were that well-endowed with common sense we wouldn’t have this episode, […]

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Episode 11 – TOS 1×10: “The Corbomite Maneuver”

Corbomite. Corbomite. Corbomite. Hard to say aloud, especially if you’re Corene and keep wanting to say carbonite (Corene is very excited about Star Wars). This is a solid, smart, professional episode for the Enterprise crew in which there is a mystery to be solved and a problem to be strategized away, which is one of […]

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Episode 12 – TOS 1×11&12: “The Menagerie”

So I guess you could say this is a landmark of sorts: Star Trek’s first clips episode. Two landmarks! It’s also the first two-parter. In The Menagerie, the Enterprise is called to a starbase (via a message no one can verify and may have been faked) where we’re re-united with Captain Christopher Pike of unaired […]

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Episode 13 – TOS 1×13: “The Conscience of the King”

Somewhere, some former Star Trek writer is still riding the triumph of putting their English degree to such expansive use, because this episode may have the most Shakespeare references of any single episode of the Original Series. And that’s not just because this episode’s themes are based on not one, but two Shakespeare plays; it also contains two Shakespeare plays. Macbeth […]

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Episode 14 – TOS 1×14: “Balance of Terror”

In this episode, the Enterprise is sent to investigate a spate of sudden mysterious radio silence from the asteroid-based outposts along the Romulan Neutral Zone. What’s the Neutral Zone? Well apart from the inspiration for the title of this podcast, it’s the neutral boundary between Federation territory and the Romulan Star Empire. That’s right. ROMULANS. IT’S […]

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Episode 15 – TOS 1×15: “Shore Leave”

Okay, so, I’m not an astronaut. Also, you know, no human astronaut has ever explored another planet to the point of setting foot on it sans environmental suit, let alone interacting with an alien ecosystem on a one-on-one basis, so there’s not a real sturdy framework for comparison here. But even I can tell you for […]

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Episode 16 – TOS 1×16: “The Galileo Seven”

So, if you ever wanted a textbook example of How Not To Behave in a Space Crisis, this is that episode. Our fair ship is on a mission of mercy, delivering medical supplies to a beleaguered colony, but “standing orders” to study all pulsar phenomena (???) mean they must delay said mission of mercy so that […]

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Episode 17 – TOS 1×17: “The Squire of Gothos”

So this is one of those episodes where the Enterprise is more or less minding her own business, zipping along through space, when suddenly she’s dragged into a highly inconvenient adventure by an interfering, super-powered alien. This particular alien likes to kidnap samples of random species to put them on display, like museum pieces, and […]

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Episode 18 – TOS 1×18: “Arena”

Just about everyone who’s ever even dipped a toe into classic sci-fi TV has seen at least clips and GIFs from this episode, or at least of its secondary villain, The Gorn. Strangely, despite the Gorn being the thing everyone knows about this episode, neither the Gorn nor the titular arena show up until wayyyyyyy into […]

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Episode 19 – TOS 1×19: “Tomorrow is Yesterday”

So, just to get this out of the way, I love this episode. Then again, I love basically any and all Star Trek content that involves the crew of a starship – or really, any people of the 23rd/24th centuries – travelling back to our rustic, shitty present is practically guaranteed to delight me. In this […]

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Episode 20 – TOS 1×20: “Court Martial”

In the Space Justice System, the Space people are represented by two separate, yet equally important Space groups: the Space officers who commit the Space Crimes, and the Space attorneys who Space prosecute the Space offenders. These are their stories. CHUNG CHUNG That’s right, it’s Law and Order, ST: TOS! In this episode, Kirk is in trouuuuble. […]

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Episode 21 – TOS 1×21: “The Return of the Archons”

If you’ve ever heard fellow geeks make “of the body” jokes, this is where it comes from. In this episode, the Enterprise is out to solve the mystery of the disappearance of the U.S.S. Archon, which apparently crashed on unexplored Beta 3 – a planet so far away from Earth that it’s taken a century for someone to come […]

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Episode 21a – Bonus Content: Bryan Fuller Announced as New Trek Series Showrunner

Yesterday the news hit the Interwebs that we finally have a showrunner for the up-and-coming new Trek series: Bryan Fuller, probably best-known, at the moment, for recently-concluded series Hannibal. His other credits (in addition to some way-back-when episodes of Voyager and Deep Space Nine that officially qualify him as a Trek Alum) include the ultra-whimsical and cult-beloved Pushing […]

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Episode 22 – TOS 1×22: “Space Seed”

This week’s episode is arguably the most famous episode of The Original Series – or at least, introduces one of the most famous-in-the-mainstream (and most controversially-rebooted) villains of Star Trek. That’s right. You know who I mean. KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! In Space Seed, the Enterprise encounters the Botany Bay, an ancient apparent derelict drifting far beyond where a ship of […]

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Episode 23 – TOS 1×23: “A Taste of Armageddon”

This week’s episode is best described as a game of RISK that got massively out of hand. Our fair ship is ordered (against the better judgement of literally every member of the crew, it seems) into a region of space with a galactic-standard Do Not Enter sign hung on the door. These orders are issued by Federation […]

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Episode 24 – TOS 1×24: “This Side of Paradise”

In this week’s episode, the Enterprise crew is dispatched to investigate the fate of the worst summer camp of all time. Technically they’re trying to establish the fate of the probably-lost colony of Omicron Ceti III – “lost” because after the colonists had already departed, Earth scientists discovered that the planet was under constant bombardment by deadly […]

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Episode 25 – TOS 1×25: “The Devil in the Dark”

So here are some things I have learned about mines from a lifetime of sci-fi and murder mystery consumption: stay out of mines; mines are trouble if you have to go into a mine, use the buddy system if you lose sight of your buddy, return to the surface immediately if you hear weird noises […]

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Episode 26 – TOS 1×26: “Errand of Mercy”

So the chatter around this episode before we watched was basically KLINGONS KLINGONS KLINGONS. Because this week’s story involves the first appearance of our favourite (I know, we say that every time) Star Trek aliens: The Klingons! …well, sort of. There’s a running joke regarding Original Klingons versus Classic Flavour Klingons, i.e. pre-Bumpy-Forehead v.s. Post-Bumpy-Forehead. Until […]

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Episode 27 – TOS 1×27: “The Alternative Factor”

So this is one of those times where “hot mess” doesn’t quite do the episode justice. The Enterprise is minding her own business, doing a boring, run-of-the-mill planetary survey, when all of a sudden, existence blinks. Literally, the entire universe seems to shiver and shudder and very briefly stop existing. How they, or Starfleet, which immediately dials […]

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Episode 28 – TOS 1×28: “The City on the Edge of Forever”

I will confidently state that if you haven’t heard this episode, you’ve probably been living under a rock. And not a space-rock, but a decidedly ordinary, Earth-bound rock. City on the Edge of Forever is one of the most famous episodes of TOS, if not for its intensely bittersweet ending then for the controversy surrounding its many, many, […]

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Episode 29 – TOS 1×29: “Operation: Annihilate!”

In the first season finale of Star Trek: TOS, the Enterprise goes to war against murderous sun-dried jellyfish. Investigating a two-century-long wave of mass insanity that’s destroyed at least three civilizations, our fair ship arrives at Deneva, a long-established colony planet that has been out of Federation contact for over a year. Deneva also happens […]

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Episode 29a – Bonus Content: Star Trek Kiss, Marry Kill

We’re taking a brief hiatus before beginning Season 2, so here is some bonus content to tide you over. Yes, this is what that title says it is. This is a thing that has happened. Enjoy?

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Episode 29b – Bonus Content: New Series Rumour Round-Up #1

A new-this-week round-up of the current rumours circulating around the new Trek series, gathered for your listening pleasure from only the finest second-hand, uncorroborated sources. We’ll probably keep doing these as we learn more. We sum up with a reading of our wildest, most unlikely desires for new Trek. Have any of your own?

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Episode 30 – TOS 2×01: “Amok Time”

In the season 2 premiere, we travel to sunny Vulcan for the most extended, uh, completion metaphor in 1960s television. Or, you know, Spock is undergoing a Special Change and really, really doesn’t want to talk about it. If the above two sentences haven’t already given it away, yes, this is that episode; the 50 minutes that […]

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Episode 31 – TOS 2×02: “Who Mourns for Adonais?”

This week’s special guest-host, Trisha, summed up the episode pretty nicely: “hand jobs and sexism.” In this episode, our brave crew finds themselves on a planet with a seemingly all-powerful being to claims to be one of the ancient Greek gods. The relationship does not begin in a way we can define as “smooth;” namely, said […]

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Episode 32 – TOS 2×03: “The Changeling”

So if the plot of this week’s episode feels familiar, that’s because it formed the basis of the first Star Trek movie, Star Trek: The Motion Picture: the Enterprise encounters an ancient, Earth-built space probe that promptly tries to kill them.                     It’s a theme often-repeated in […]

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Episode 33 – TOS 2×04: “Mirror, Mirror”

Are you excited? You should be! This week, we embark on one of the Trek universe’s most beloved continuing storylines: The Mirrorverse! The Mirrorverse. Where real men wear sparkly gold sashes, real women have intimidating She-Ra abs and murderbiceps, and literally anyone of any gender (non-binary murder-bling not pictured) will knife you for a donut.         […]

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Episode 34 – TOS 2×05: “The Apple”

This week’s episode… I’m gonna be honest with you: it asks no coherent questions, provides no lucid answers, but does involve a massive, probably-malevolent snake-computer. So… there’s that.                     There’s a lot of Garden of Eden metaphors sprinkled vaguely throughout this story, though the operative word […]

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Episode 35 – TOS 2×06: “The Doomsday Machine”

This week’s episode is another in a long line of Almost A Very Good Episode. It opens on the Enterprise discovering yet another destroyed solar system that they swear was there only a year ago, and the missing U.S.S. Constellation, whose crew seems to have vanished into thin air. Sounds great, right? Really, this story’s […]

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Episode 36 – TOS 2×07: “Catspaw”

Just to give you an idea of our impressions for this week, most of our notes for this episode consist of repeated interrobangs and the word “WITCHES?!?!” underlined multiple times. It’s best not to try and view this episode through much of a critical lens. There’s some vague Macbeth references. There’s a few places where […]

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Episode 37 – TOS 2×08: “I, Mudd”

Since this is an episode where our fair ship stumbles, for the second time, across Harcourt Fenton Mudd, you might not expect a lot of substance. And sure enough, this is an episode where our crew finds (and by “finds” we of course mean “are hijacked there by a robot”) Harry Mudd set up on […]

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Episode 38 – TOS 2×09: “Metamorphosis”

Ah, Original Series: bastion of mystifying false dichotomies. Where you get Conspicuous Progressivism, you also get Astonishing Obliviousness Towards the Status Quo. For instance, this week’s episode contains both a scene where the Starfleet contingent of the cast are utterly nonplussed by the guest-star’s thinly-veiled-gay-panic-analog AND the message, shouted repeatedly through a narrative megaphone, that a woman’s life […]

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Episode 39 – TOS 2×10: “Journey to Babel”

So this is probably my favourite episode so far, mostly because it’s FULL OF SPACE DIPLOMACY. It’s also the first appearance of several Grand Trek Traditions, like Complaining about Dress Uniforms, and contains this scene, where Spock shows Bones how to do the Vulcan salute:                   The Enterprise is ferrying […]

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Episode 40 – TOS 2×11: “Friday’s Child”

This week, the Enterprise visits Capella, land of shiny rocks, where people stab each other for fun and call it a favour, and women literally belong to their male relatives. Sounds like a super-sweet potential trading partner, right? Capella, a pre-warp civilization (Prime Directive? What Prime Directive?) whose aesthetic falls somewhere between “Vikings! Rarrr!” and what looks 1960s’ […]

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Episode 41 – TOS 2×12: “The Deadly Years”

This week, our crew comes upon a far-flung pseudo-colony where the members of a scientific expedition have come down with an acute case of The Olds.                   Naturally, they quickly discover that they’ve been infected with whatever is killing the expedition members. The medical staff springs into action, trying to cure […]

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Episode 41a – Bonus Content: Discovery Teaser Trailer!

Our first bonus episode of two this week, all about the upcoming return of Star Trek to its natural habitat, television. There was a panel full of announcements at SDCC 2016, among them the name of the new ship, also the title of the series: Discovery. We also got a list of new names added to the show’s creative team, including […]

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Episode 41b – Bonus Content: Star Trek Beyond

The NSMTNZ crew recently saw the new offering from the Nu!Trek franchise, and wonder of wonders, we enjoyed it! Now if Hollywood can just promise to never let J.J. Abrams touch Star Trek ever ever again, I might one day progress to a place of acceptance where I can physically stop complaining about installments 1 and 2. […]

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Episode 42 – TOS 2×13: “Obsession”

This week we reach the midway point in season 2 of TOS (and arguably the halfway point in the series), potentially subtitled “Old Man Kirk Yells at Cloud” (there was some debate about this, given he never actually yells at the cloud). It’s also probably the first installment in Trek’s long-running love affair with the Moby Dick metaphor. We […]

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Episode 43 – TOS 2×14: “Wolf in the Fold”

So this episode is nominally a murder mystery, which honestly, made us give it a whole lot of bonus points right at the outset. Our crew is visiting Argelius, a port world where, well, to give you an idea, the law of the land is literally love. A couple of hundred years ago Argelians decided that […]

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Episode 44 – TOS 2×15: “The Trouble with Tribbles”

So as a heads-up, we don’t care what anyone thinks (up to and including Gene Roddenberry, who may or may not have despised it): this episode is comedy gold. In this week’s among-the-most-famous and most universally-beloved episode, the Enterprise is summoned to space station K-7 by a Priority One distress call, but when it arrives, it […]

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Episode 45 – TOS 2×16: “The Gamesters of Triskelion”

In this week’s episode, our brave (stupid?) crew is once again kidnapped by a race of jerkface omnipotent ascended aliens. There’s a whole painfully-artificial B-plot that we won’t go into much, but the A-plot is basically that Kirk, Chekov and Uhura are innocently beaming down to a planet for Totally Legitimate Mission Reasons and find themselves, instead, lots of light-years […]

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Episode 46 – TOS 2×17: “A Piece of the Action”

So, depending on your point of view, this episode is either a condemnation of accidental colonialism, an apologist screed for colonialism, or is saying something chilling about casual gun violence. …orrrr it’s a thinly-veiled excuse to have James Kirk cosplay as Al Capone.                   About a hundred years […]

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Episode 47 – TOS 2×18: “The Immunity Syndrome”

This episode is called “The Immunity Syndrome,” but frankly this is a missed opportunity to title an episode “Attack of the Giant Space Amoeba,” or to gleefully over-use the word “entropy.”                     Because that’s what this episode wants to be about, folks: entropy, and why it’s the […]

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Episode 48 – TOS 2×19: “A Private Little War”

Pro tip #1: guns are bad. Pro tip #2: the Non-Intereference Directive is there for a fucking reason. So this episode? Was actually sort of well-delivered? In a way? I mean, if you ignore that it was originally supposed to be a Vietnam metaphor and actually ended up being about disarmament and mutually assured destruction and […]

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Episode 49 – TOS 2×20: “Return to Tomorrow”

So in case you were still on the fence about this, here is the lesson for this episode: never, ever, ever let a semi-ascended super-being, especially one who considers you a child or ant by comparison to themselves, inhabit your body, even temporarily.                     Like, how […]

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Episode 50 – TOS 2×21: “Patterns of Force”

Good news: this is our 50th Episode! Holy crap! Bad news: Long story short, the official subtitle for this episode is “Nazis‽” If you’re confused: that’s an interrobang, one of the most graceful forms of punctuation in the English language. No other symbol so effectively encompasses our feelings about this episode. Because that’s right, kids. We’re […]

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Episode 51 – TOS 2×22: “By Any Other Name”

So with guest-host Trisha joining us this week, the NSMTNZ crew is 50/50 on loving this episode and finding the Kelvins some of most genuinely scary villains of TOS so far. The story begins rather generically, with the Enterprise responding to a distress call… and then being immediately taken prisoner. “Thanks for picking up the phone,” says […]

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Episode 52 – TOS 2×23: “The Omega Glory”

                          Okay, here’s a partial list of acceptable scenarios under which you may portray generally Earth, or specifically the United States of America, as existing on an alien planet or anywhere that is not our universe: alternate timelines alternate universes cultures that deliberately […]

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Episode 53 – TOS 2×24: “The Ultimate Computer”

Now, I’m sure this will come as no surprise to you, the habitual sci-fi consumer, but here’s a pro tip: when you give a New, Amazing, Cutting Edge Computer the sole charge of a starship/town/space station, Shit Goes Down. In this episode, Dr. Richard Daystrom (who later gave his name to The Daystrom Institute, one […]

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Episode 54 – TOS 2×25: “Bread and Circuses”

Apparently no one at 1960s Desilu was listening to me, because this week’s episode involves yet another goddamn parallel Earth. And not just Earth: an Earth where the Roman Empire survived until the 20th century, and yet somehow still ended up speaking colloquial North American English. Save me.                 […]

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Episode 55 – TOS 2×26: “Assignment: Earth”

In the Original Series season 2 finale, we find ourselves, inexplicably, in 1968. Inexplicably because it contradicts everything we’ve been told before or since about messing with timelines and the dangers of time travel. And why? Nominally, to do “historical research” into the “pivotal events” of 1968. Actually? To shoehorn a back door pilot into […]

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Episode 56 – TOS 3×01: “Spock’s Brain”

Welcome to season 3 of both TOS and Not So Much The Neutral Zone! Can you believe we’ve been doing this for this long?? Neither can we! In less cheerful news: we are so. Sorry. America. The existential dread we feel on your behalf actually came in handy this week, though, because this episode is […]

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Episode 57 – TOS 3×02: “The Enterprise Incident”

So mostly we loved this episode because it contains a novelty for TOS: a take-no-shit female leader in the form of a Romulan Commander whose authority is so unimpeachable that we don’t even get to learn her name.                     I mean, there are downsides. We encounter RomCom […]

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Episode 58 – TOS 3×03: “The Paradise Syndrome”

So we’ve been looking forward with – not anticipation? More like trepidation? Dread? knowing this episode was coming up pretty soon, and here we are: The One Where Kirk Gets Amnesia and Cosplays A Hollywood Native American. To give you an idea of the level of cultural sensitivity on display for this episode, the alternate episode […]

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Episode 59 – TOS 3×04: “And The Children Shall Lead”

This week’s episode is widely considered to be the worst of the Original Series, and while we beg to differ on “worst,” it’s still pretty damn bad. From inconsistent characterization to random dialogue to one of the most random stunt-casts in our shared experience, this ep goes from “uhh” to “what?” to “umm, no” with great […]

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Episode 60 – TOS 3×05: “Is There In Truth No Beauty?”

Hold on to your hats, listeners, because something astonishing has come to pass: we all liked this one. Right on the tail of one of the worst episodes of TOS is one of the best so far, and one that comes with an interesting question, also the title of the episode: is there, in truth, no beauty? […]

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Episode 61 – TOS 3×06: “Spectre of the Gun”

Do you enjoy bizarre sci-fi-esque westerns like Wild Wild West and Westworld? Alternately, have you been doing a lot of drugs? Then this episode is for you! Seriously. First of all, the reason given for the Enterprise visiting this planet either makes no sense at all or makes them look like assholes, which always gets us […]

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Episode 62 – TOS 3×07: “Day of the Dove”

So just to get this out of the way before we start: oh god, later Klingons are so much better than TOS-era Klingons. Not just in terms of, you know, a vastly more fleshed-out and consistent culture and general coolness factor, but also because of the wow, really terrible (both in terms of, you know, […]

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Episode 63 – TOS 3×08: “For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched The Sky”

Season 3 of TOS is a strange, unpredictable beast, in that there are utterly bananas episodes that make no sense and are exhaustingly bad, like “And The Children Shall Lead,” and then there are episodes like this one, which could have stood in for a 60s/70s contemporary standalone sci-fi film and honestly have better internal logic than a […]

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Episode 64 – TOS 3×09: “The Tholian Web”

This week’s episode really, really wanted to be a ghost story. It almost manages it – Kirk, rather than saving the day, spends most of the episode floating at low-opacity in the background, waving his arms – but mostly this episode is about getting along. And also how you never, ever fucking board a ghost […]

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Episode 65 – TOS 3×10: “Plato’s Stepchildren”

So fair warning on two counts: this episode contains multiple instances of various kinds of assault, humiliation, and other hella disturbing violations of people’s rights, and you will have to listen to both William Shatner and Corene make this noise, multiple times: Plato’s Stepchildren is another of those classic Star Trek stories that everyone has heard of, […]

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Episode 66 – TOS 3×11: “Wink of an Eye”

This week, Kirk gets kidnapped by an alien queen to become part of her man-harem. No, literally. And we love her. It starts as all bad days for the Enterprise start: with them answering a distress call. Only when they arrive, there’s nobody home; just an entire abandoned city and a lot of annoying buzzing noises. Are […]

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Episode 67 – TOS 3×12: “The Empath”

So really, this episode makes a lot more sense if you think of it as the first bad fic you ever wrote for your favourite TV show. The Empath was based off of a fan-submitted script, and we’re not sure whether to blame house-writer interpretation or the original author, but we do know one thing for […]

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Episode 68 – TOS 3×13: “Elaan of Troyius”

So this week’s episode would best be described as Taming of the Shrew, But in Space, but with the caveat that in no universe would any acceptable version of Kate have tolerated the spanking threats heaped upon her counterpart by our heroic captain. If you, like us, prefer Taming of the Shrew adaptations where the […]

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Episode 69 – TOS 3×14: “Whom Gods Destroy”

So, chances are, you have a hazy memory of a Star Trek episode that takes place in a mental hospital of some kind. Like us, you probably made it to Dagger of the Mind and went “wait, what? why is this way worse than I remember, and not just because it’s been twenty years since I last saw […]

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Episode 70 – TOS 3×15: “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield”

So this episode needs little explanation, being well-known, even to those living under literal rocks, as Trek’s Clumsiest Racial Prejudice Metaphor, but just in case you were unsure about where we were, here’s a reminder:                       This episode gets a score of slightly below 50% for, […]

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Episode 71 – TOS 3×16: “The Mark of Gideon”

This week brings us to an episode is often referenced as evidence of Trek’s pro-choice, feminist foundations. The basics are thus: Kirk gets kidnapped by the government of Gideon, subjected to involuntary medical experiments in order to extract a disease from his blood, which is then given to a young woman who has apparently volunteered […]

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Episode 72 – TOS 3×17: “That Which Survives”

Buckle up, nerds, because this week’s episode brings together two of our favourite things: 1. Star Trek and 2. a cozy murder mystery! We’re so excited. (Okay, 2/3 of us are excited. But Kim was loudly overruled because DEMOCRACY.) There’s no contrived excuse for tossing our crew into the mystery this time: it’s a straight-up scientific […]

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Episode 73 – TOS 3×18: “The Lights of Zetar”

In this episode, in a roundabout treatise on bodily autonomy and how you shouldn’t fuck with it, some jerkface glowy space lights impersonate The Patriarchy. (Poor, poor) Mira Romaine, Space Archivist, is on board the Enterprise to install new equipment on Memory Alpha, the Federation’s cultural repository. So, space library/archive, basically. We love this idea, even though […]

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Episode 74 – TOS 3×19: “Requiem for Methuselah”

So I nearly didn’t bother writing a post for this episode, because Corene’s intro basically… covers it all. You’ll see. But essentially this week’s story is a lecture on why no one, especially white dudes, should actually be immortal. It’s bad for everyone. You, your family, your friends, passing starships, the super-intelligent robot daughter you built in […]

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Episode 75 – TOS 3×20: “The Way to Eden”

So this week’s episode is about checking your privilege! The Enterprise trips over a stolen ship full of young space hippies who have fled the oppressive embrace of socialist Federation utopia, where all their needs and desires were met for free, to… start a commune in the desert.                   […]

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Episode 76 – TOS 3×21: “The Cloud Minders”

Now in our home stretch for The Original Series, we come to a genuinely kinda good late-series episode, in which the Enterprise gets caught in the middle of a civil rights struggle that not-at-all-subtly mirrors the American civil rights movement, but in a floating cloud city.                       Federation […]

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Episode 77 – TOS 3×22: “The Savage Curtain”

So hey guys, spoiler: this episode is total nonsense. Basically, the Enterprise is at A Planet. Why? It’s never explained. But almost as soon as they arrive, a bunch of sentient-lava aliens kidnap Kirk and Spock, spontaneously generate them two new BFFs in the form of their personal long-dead historical Faves, and pit them against four […]

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Episode 78 – TOS 3×23: “All Our Yesterdays”

IN THIS, THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE OF THE ORIGINAL SERIES, we visit the planet Sarpeidon, a planet whose star is about to go supernova. Setting aside the crucial travel advisory that three hours out from a supernova, kids, do not beam down to the surface of a planet, this feels like a little late to be trying for… a last-minute […]

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Episode 79 – TOS 3×24: “Turnabout Intruder”

Welcome to the VERY LAST EPISODE of the Original Series of Star Trek. On these episodes was based the entire, larger, extensive body of the Star Trek franchise. And while there is more Trek made after TOS than there is TOS, TOS was still the first to go where no one had gone before. Are […]

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Episode 80 – “Star Trek: The Motion Picture”

Welcome, nerds, to a new phase in our adventure together: the Original Series Movies!                   Star Trek: The Motion Picture cost $35,000,000 USD to make (~125 million in 2017 money), and made (adjusted for ticket price inflation) nearly 290 million dollars, making it the second-highest grossing Star Trek movie of all […]

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Episode 81 – “Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan”

We’re here! We’re finally here! We’re finally at my favourite era of Original Trek: all the movies after The Motion Picture! In this first good Trek movie, one of Kirk’s most powerful nemeses is back for revenge: Khan Noonien Singh, played by the incomparable Ricardo Montalban, has seized the Federation starship U.S.S. Reliant and a whole space […]

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Episode 82 – “Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock”

So, here’s the thing about the second, third, and fourth Star Trek movies: they’re a trilogy. And Search for Spock plays true to form for most two-of-threes: lots of feelings on display and not a whole lot of plot. But that’s okay! Search for Spock is one of the reasons I tend to disagree with the odd-versus-even Star […]

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Episode 83 – “Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home”

Buckle up, nerds, for MY FAVOURITE STAR TREK MOVIE, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, AKA: The One with the Whales. This movie has it all: 1. Hand-claspingly earnest environmentalist commentary 2. The Office-style Fourth-Wall-poking Hey The Past You’re Doing It Wrong plotline 3. A starship crew visiting the super-gross present and having no idea how anything works […]

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Episode 84 – “Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier”

In this, the officially Most Bananas of all the Star Trek movies, a crazed cult-leader steals the Enterprise and her crew and takes a joyride to the centre of the galaxy to… find… God?                 No, really. The central plot of the movie is this: 1. Spock’s long-lost full-Vulcan […]

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